Reflection of 2014

As December 2014 winds down with only a few more days on this years calendar I find myself reflecting back on the past twelve months and marveling on how fast they sped by.  2014 met us with our usual daily life routines, you know the ones that get in the way to really living, but there is always comfort in the routine.  However routine is never exciting to highlight, so here are the moments that made imprints in our hearts or brightly coloured our ordinary daily lives.

Jan/Feb: The most profound event in Jan was the passing of my Nan on Jan 25th.  Her death rocked our family as she was the grounding to our family's foundation.  She was the last of my grandparents to leave the earth and it saddens me to think they are all gone.

On a brighter note though, January was the month I finished my first manuscript: Marbles and Wine.  And many copies were distributed to various honest friends to have a read through and provide feedback.  Most have long since finished and helped me fine tune my masterpiece.

March: After some busy months working hard, both Scott and I needed a rest, so Sechelt  was our first pick.  The ocean air and calming surroundings rejuvenated us completely.  This trip turned out to be our only vacation away for 2014, besides Shuswap.  Hopefully 2015 will bring forth more travel.

April: One of the biggest highlights for me this year was a visit from my friend Erin.  She traveled far from Fort Smith to hang out with me and observe my teaching practice in the hopes of fine tuning some of her own.  I really think that was a cover so we could finally see one another after 9 years apart.  And from the moment she stepped off the plane, to the minute she had to return to the airport three days later, we never stopped talking.  It literally was like old times.  We hung around Fort Langley, relaxed at my place, went for a fine dinner at The WAG.

Her trip ended, and within hours my sister and her family came to visit for Easter.  This was another highlight of 2014.  Having them stay with us was so much fun.  My sister and I chatted well into the wee hours every night.  My nieces brought huge life and laughter in our little home.  And my brother in-law had us in stitches with his funny stories and jokes.  Between the egg hunt and big family dinners it was epic.

May/June: We slowed down again for the rest of Spring, until June.  Then I started summer vacation weeks earlier as job action hit it's peak- full walk -out until mid Sept.  This was the damper on summer travel.

July: Feeling utterly worn out and defeated I packed up Triggs in my car and we had a week to ourselves in Shuswap.  This was a new adventure as I had never really traveled alone with a dog before.  It was great just relaxing in the warm Okanagan sun, reading, writing and doing nothing.  Then within a few weeks I was back up there again to celebrate my nieces fourth birthday with the whole family.  Then the following week Scott and I, with Triggs in tow, had a relaxing four days at the cabin.  We arrived on our anniversary to find the cabin without power, but that didn't kill the romance.  We lit candles and watched the storm roll by.  The rest of the time we enjoyed the warm days and cool nights.  We even kayaked with Triggs.

Aug: After being fully recharged we came back and built a deck.  What a crazy fun project.  Who knew my husband could design and build a deck?  Once completed we had a few dinners at the outdoor dinning table with friends and family.  Scott's sister also came for a quick visit that month and then came back in late Oct for another.

Sept: To distract me from the fact I wasn't going back to work right away I hosted a Reader's Dinner for all the people who read "Marbles and Wine".  Not everyone could make it, but for those that did I have to say it was one of the best nights.  We sat under the stars, ate food inspired by the novel, drank wine and talked about the book.  It was incredible for me to have others take such pleasure in reading it and want to discuss it too.

Scott went hunting in late Sept and came back with a big moose.  It was also the time I finally got to go back to work.

Oct: Back in the full swing of things I was pleased to have a low-key Thanksgiving with our dear friends Jonny and Lisa at their home.  And then later that month Scott and I hosted a rockin' pirate party for Halloween.  It was one party for the record books.

Nov/Dec: Normally we go away in Nov, but this year we didn't have the time.  Scott was busy with work and so was I.  However Scott did take up the guitar and is doing quiet well with it. December was our busiest month.  Lots of parties and events going on.  We even took a trip to Vancouver with the neighbor crew and started a new tradition of "field trips".  This time was to Gourmet Warehouse, Peaceful Restaurant and Stanley Park.  No homework on this "fieldtrip."

Dec 21st started the epic week of family time, as my sister and her brood came for Christmas.  Between dinners, and outings it was a whirl wind of fun!

In between all of this were many trips to the yoga studio, where I learned to breathe.  Here's to another 365 days of awesomeness.

Where do you belong?

Being apart of a group; the feeling of belonging is a very vital and basic human need in order to live healthy, and balanced lives.  Earlier this year my English 11 students and I embarked on a journey to explore the aspect of belonging and how it related to human beings.  What we learned was outstanding.  We discovered that a person needs to belong on some level in order to live a happy life; loneliness can be dangerous and life threatening; social media, thought to bring people together, can actually give one a sense of false friendship, and can lead to loneliness and depression; and finally to find satisfaction in friendships one must have face-to-face time or at the very least phone conversations, in order to achieve a true connection with another person- a confidant.  A digital friendships maybe convenient but they aren't as fulfilling as the real thing.

These lessons were not so shocking to me, as I have struggled with the theme of belonging and friendship for years.  I know that friendships are tricky to maintain in your adult life and require effort on both sides for it to work.  Think about it.  As a kid we have instant friendships through pre-arranged play dates and countless hours at school, where you have a sea of other kids to choose from to become friends with.  Considering you spend most of your day with your classmates you can easily maintain a friendship.  But once we enter the adult world we busy ourselves with careers, and finding a mate, so the time dedicated to seeing friends becomes less.  We end up whittling our pool of friends down to a few close bonds.  Add marriage and children to the mix and the close friends you once saw weekly, and told your secrets to, have become mere Facebook friends in a digital world.  Now if you are lucky your BFF and you have journeyed down the same life path, so you still have common interests and it might be easy to see one another and maintain a close bond.  This type of bond is the key to a friendship and the way to nurture it is by spending time together.  But far too often we take the easy way out and think the easy digital world is just as effective in keeping friendships alive.  Just a few clicks and you are on FB where you can creep into one anothers lives and in a matter of minutes know the status updates of dozens of friends.  But at the end of the day do you feel connected to these people?  Probably not.  As you yourself post only the 'best version' of your life online, so do others, so we don't really know one another.  Could you call these people and have a real conversation about how you are really feeling?  If you stick to just quick posts and status updates as a means to connect you will find yourself feeling the opposite, disconnected and lonely.

I, for one, am not a stranger to feeling disconnected from women who I once considered my close friends.  For years we'd spend a least twice a month getting together and catching up over food and wine.  We'd confess secrets and ask advice, like most close female friends do.  We were like the characters from Sex and The City, but without the high fashion.

Then slowly my group that I belonged to only saw one another every second month to the point where we sort of lost contact.  Our lives became too busy to see each other.  One friend of mine in particular moved away without telling me.  I wouldn't have found out unless I hadn't called her in the summer to arrange a lunch date with her.  Instead I discovered she moved to another city.  At first I was deeply hurt and confused about why she hadn't told me.  We used to be so close.  I knew more about her and she me than numerous of other people did.  When the hurt subsided I realized that over the last two years we had drifted a part.  Between her having her first child and me focusing on a new marriage we didn't make the effort to call one another, and we didn't see each other very often.  Both of us were to blame.  I soon realized that the group I once called "my close few" were all scattered like dried leaves in the wind.  Our lives didn't connect any more because we all led such different lives.  And its no one person's fault.  And though I still consider them friends, as we never had fights to dissolve our relationships, I don't feel as though I belong with them as my confidants.

It's hard to maintain friendships without similar interests and experiences.  I'm not saying you can't; I'm saying it is hard.  My best friend lives in another city and she is a mom, but we still make the effort to call one another.  I know I can talk to her over the phone and still feel the strong connection that we have always had.  I also have a new circle of friends that I feel I belong to, and the reason is simply because we spend time together outside of the digital world.  There is nothing more satisfying than to have a person next to you and see them actually listening to you and caring about what you have to say.  Even a phone call can give texture to a friendship.  I'm lucky to have these women in my life.

Furthermore, digital friendships are hollow and can be very one sided.  There is nothing worse than when you want to connect to another person but they don't make the effort to reciprocate back.  A strong friendship is a two way street, where both people put in the time and effort.  I'm tired of those interactions where I make all the effort to plan a night out or just go for a cup of coffee, and all I get in return are text messages and FB posts on my status updates.  It's not a friendship.

I've learned that it isn't the number of friends on FB you have but the number of actual moments with just a few people that truly matter.  I challenge you to pick up the phone and call a friend you haven't talked to in a long time.  The sound of a friend's voice is priceless.  It's the sound of belonging.

Parent Sanctuary

Do you have a place you can go and just let go?  A place you can find some solitude or have an uninterrupted thought?  Maybe you have a place you can retreat to to enjoy a warm meal and glass of wine without having to tend to wee ones?  Well my parent- friends can found that place at my house.

After the birth of their first baby one of our friends mentioned to my husband how great it was to hang out at our place with no crying baby or children decor.  Those are things we take for granted as we don't have them.  After a classic childfree evening with the same group of friends our home became known as"the parent sanctuary."  I thought it was cute.  And the more I pondered this idea of my house being a parent refuge, a place parents can hide- out and recharge their weary selves, the more I felt good about it.  As much as parents love their children they need a break from time to time.  Just as I love my dog there are times when its nice not having the furry guy around.  It's time for just me.  For many years, Scott and I struggled or felt guilty for wanting to throw adult -only parties. People seemed offended that we wouldn't invite their offspring to our house, but as time went by I got over feeling badly about it.  I realized there are plenty of times we go to parties where there are kids, so why do our gatherings need to include children, when we don't have them ourselves? Our house isn't equipped for tiny humans, and even if it was, there are times when adults need to let lose, which can be hard when babies and toddlers are watching your every action and word.  So now most of our invites are adult -only simply because it is easier for us and with the nick-name Parent Sanctuary it is easier to suggest a childfree evening.  Because let's face it everyone deserves a break from time to time.

My Book Baby Update

Over the last few weeks people have been asking "how's the book coming?"  To which I reply "which one?"  My seven year writing journey has certainly not ended, but taken on a forked path.  My first manuscript titled Marbles and Wine (formerly titled It's Like Holding A Marble In my Mouth) is complete.  I finished it back in early January of this year, so I let a few of my friends read it and encouraged them to give me feedback.  And they did!  In late Sept I hosted a Reader's Dinner for my gracious reader's to come and discuss Marbles and Wine and tell me what it needed.  After a lovely meal and of course wine, all of us debated about characters, favourite scenes, and actors who would play the main parts.  We had a great time.  I took note of the parts that needed fine tuning, and I spoke to others who could not make it and got their feedback too.  So now I truly feel Marbles and Wine is complete, well complete enough for a publisher.  This next step is tricky and complicated to say the least, but I'm working on it.  I have contacted a few publishers and just need to be patient for their replies.  In the mean time I will contact more and some literary agents to help spread the word.

With that book to bed I have begun another manuscript titled Hunter's Wife (and no it is not about Scott and I.) However our dog Triggs is in this one, with lots of other strange characters that reside in a fictional town called Raven's Harbour.  And I'm loving where this book is going.  The lead characters Gillian and Reinar came to me this summer and demanded their story to be told.  I don't know where they will all end up, but I do know, they are fun to write about.  What's neat about them is that they both have careers I think I'd like to have- Chef at a Hunting Lodge and Feature's Reporter at the local paper.  Since I'm not an expert in these fields I'm doing a lot of research for this novel, so if any chefs or reporters want to lend an ear I'd love to bounce ideas off of you.  There is a hunting aspect as well, but I think I have that covered with Scott.  Another neat aspect is that unlike Marbles and Wine there is a male narrator and at times a more masculine tone, so that might appeal to a larger audience.

My projections with Hunter's Wife is to have a draft done by Summer 2015, if real life doesn't get in the way...

So I guess you can say I have two book babies.

Decade of Teaching

It just occurred to me the other day when I was chatting with one of my dear friends, whom I met in university, that this September will be our tenth year of teaching. A whole decade! Wow, time flew by.  For me it still feels like yesterday that I began my career as a bright eyed, naive teacher, ready to take on the world.  But it wasn't yesterday, it was Sept 24th 2004. My first teaching assignment was a .40 job share at North Surrey Secondary, teaching English 8, 9, 11, Comm 12,and Wr12.  That was also the year I did my only stint as a TOC.  A position that I'd never want to do again, but it's one I think all teachers should endure, as that's where I learnt my classroom management skills, found the schools I like working in, and it made me appreciate my own room when I got one.

The following year I landed a full time gig at Sullivan Heights, where I have resided for the past nine years. But my course load sure has changed over the years.  I started as the drama teacher and soon realized I'd be better suited for a full time English position.  In order to do that I had to wheel and deal over the next few years to achieve that.  In the mean time, while teaching drama, I had lots of fun playing games, writing scripts with students, and putting on several shows.

 Then as the years went on I gained a few blocks of English by taking on the program most English teachers don't want- Communications. This is where most of the clientele need a different approach to education.  It was here that I learned the value of good rapport with your students.  In a Comm class this is paramount. They need to be able to trust you and feel like you are on their side, but you also need boundaries.  If you can attain this then the students will be on your side.  It works with regular classes too, but Comm kids need more of an ear to listen than a lecturer.

This was also the time in my career that I was a travelling teacher.  I had a home-base in the drama room, but as the semesters moved along and I picked up English courses, I had to teach in other teacher's classrooms.  I did this for a few years and killed myself every year. It was exhausting running from one end of the school to the other, towing a crap load of materials with you.  I'd always forget something along the way.  I've been very fortunate to have my room for awhile now, and I can't imagine doing that again.  My heart goes out yo the new teachers that do it all the time.

Now I'm a full time English teacher and far from being a newbie.  But I still don't consider myself a veteran.  I'm still learning new ways to fine tune my classroom management skills and hone my teaching practice.  It seems each year I try to incorporate something new.  The past two years I focused on technology in the classroom, which had it's up and downs.  This year I want to take on a more social/emotional approach to teaching.  Getting students to be more aware of their emotions and how to control them a bit better is a goal of mine.  Not to mention I want to have them spend less time on their devices and more time focusing of their studies, and interacting with one another.  You'd be surprised at how many students are afraid to talk to a fellow student they don't know.  Many have a hard time making friends in school, and I'm hoping to help with that.

These past 10 years have not been easy by any means.  There were lots of moments I wanted to give up and search for a new career path, one that wasn't so demanding.  It's the only job that you are 'on' from the moment you step into the building, with so many people dependent on you and your mood.  If you start off in a bad mood, chances are the rest of your day will be challenging.  Everyday I have to watch what I say and do, as everything I do and say are scrutinized by students, colleagues and admin.  Well it's usually the students who notice your new outfit or that your shirt is inside out. Yes that happened to me.  As well as, I have spilled an entire smoothie down the front of me while lecturing a group of sixteen-year-olds.  Oh, there are so many things I've done that are embarrassing.  At least my students know I'm human.  My job at work is not just teacher, but a counsellor, parent, police officer, role model, and at times a glorified babysitter.  There are times I feel like a juggler trying to keep all the balls going, get everything done, and try to drink a cup of coffee without it getting cold.

But my job is never boring.  In ten years I have had some bizarre things happen in my classroom, like boys duking it out, girls crying, spontaneous dance offs, witches and many different types of Shakespearean characters visited, political debates, and silly debates about the best food to eat when you are feeling sad.  Students have left me speechless after their presentations, wowed me with their achievements, and made me see life in a different light.  And if you ask any of my colleagues who teach near by you'd know at least once a day I break out laughing.  My students make me laugh everyday. What other job does that happen?

I may complain from time to time about the things they didn't teach us in Teacher's school, like all the politics around teaching, but it's something I love doing.  I love September and the start of another new school year.  It holds so much promise.  So I hope this Sept I get to celebrate in my classroom with my new students.

Cotton Anniversary (year 2)

It has been 730 days of wedded bliss!  Okay maybe not every moment could be described as blissful, but so far these past two years of marriage have been good, and our 2nd wedding anniversary vacation was pretty amazing.

Beach Time

Just like last year, Scott and I, with our dog Triggs, managed to get away from reality for about a week.  This in itself was considered an epic feat as Scott hasn't had more than a few days off in one stretch for about a year now.  His young business SMT Cabinets and Millwork has been keeping him pretty busy in the last year; not that we are complaining in the least.  It's just that all work and no play makes for a stressed out man and consequently a stressed wife.  So with our anniversary in sight we both agreed Scott needed to push back his work schedule and schedule in some "down time" with me.

Chef Scott with his chicken

So last week we packed up and headed to sunny Shuswap.  We arrived at the cabin Wednesday night in record time to find the the place without power.  Usually that would have put a damper on the vacay mood, but we made the best of it; in actuality it created spontaneous romance- candles, nothing to do but sit on the deck and watch the millions of stars (which are normally hidden from the lights of near by cabin ect).  We drank wine and reminisced about our wedding day and finally got a chance to reconnect.  The next day it poured rain but the weather didn't wash out our plans, as we didn't have any.  That's right, we did something so foreign, so radical called - NOTHING.  With rain as our backdrop and only a chilled -out dog to care for, we hunkered down on the deck armed with coffee and Handyman magazines for Scott and Food Network magazines for me.  Then for countless hours we read and relaxed.  After a lengthy nap Scott and I adorned aprons and created a feast for dinner; menu being grilled corn on the cob, summer salad, and BBQ spatchcock chicken (butterflied whole chicken) in Scott's special spice blend and Quail's Gate Pinot Noir..

As the week waxed on, we got into the habit of sleeping late (8ish, since the alarm at home goes off at 5), reading on the deck while drinking coffee, and then after brunch heading to the beach.  Friends of ours lent us their kayaks and this semi-new activity became one of our favourite past times.  Within 20 mins of our first voyage we were gliding along enthusiastically planning the purchase of our own to tool around the lower mainland with.  Hours floated by while on these vessels and I felt the burn in arms later.

They even came in handy when we had Triggs on the beach with us one day.  He spotted a flock of ducks in the water and swam after them.  These ducks didn't want a new friend but Triggs wasn't taking no for an answer, so Scott paddled out into the lake to redirect Triggs before he would drown.  Later that day we got Triggs into a kayak with Scott.  On our last day we were treated to a boat cruise with our lake family.  It was so relaxing and really cool to see the other side of the lake.

After six full days we were all uber relaxed and headed for home.  Little did we know our epic vacation would be slightly prolonged as entering Merritt we discovered the handy #5 HWY to be closed.  This meant rerouting through Spences Bridge to get onto the very slow, but scenic #1 (Fraser Canyon).  Still in our zen state we took this as another opportunity to see new places.  And I actually stayed awake (normally I sleep on the way home from the lake).  6.5 hours we made it home safe and sound.

Here's to another 365 days of wedded bliss.

Fanning the Flames of Marriage

As I sit in the backyard garden, sipping the last of the crisp Pinot Grigio, the night air ripples along my bare arms, creating a tingling sensation in my body.  The stars are out, husband is sleeping and I'm left satisfied with the memory of our dinner date we had only hours ago.  I made a simple grilled prawn salad with garlic and Parmesan toast points, paired with a chilled Pinot Grigio for dinner.  Outside I arranged an intimate table with a table cloth and candles, and Scott and I enjoyed each other's company for a quiet evening at home.  Between our work schedules and our active social life, we find it hard to maintain romance through out the week.  But by July 1st when I'm on summer break and the nights are long it seems to be easier to squeeze in some alone time.  Summer is the season when we can turn off the TV and tune into one another, and I find just planning a few simple, inexpensive dates does the trick to fan the flames of our marriage.

Last year I made the effort to plan and prepare a picnic once a week.  A different location and menu for each week, and as a result we had at least one meal together undisturbed by cellphones or other distractions around the house.  For Scott and I, just being alone, focusing on each other through conversation seems to bring us closer, which sparks an intimacy we can carry into the bedroom.  So participating in the dating ritual, like when we first ignited the flame between us, works every time.  However, now that we are married and have been together awhile, date nights don't seem to be top priority as they used to be- real life rears its ugly head in.  Not to mention going out for elaborate dinners every week can add up fast.

So here are my favorite picks for summer date nights that add heat but don't squash the bank account.

1. Dinner for two, outside.  I love our backyard and I'm a good cook, so I can whip up a nice meal, add some ambiance as mentioned in the beginning of the post, and bam we've got 'date night. No reservations needed.

2. If you have a deck and/or a fire pit available, post dinner drinks and s'mores or strawberries dipped in chocolate are a great way to catch up on the day, and maybe the sticky marsh mellows or chocolate will lead to something special.

3. Picnics for lunch or dinner.  Choose a park, make some simple food- even a baguette, cheese and grapes, with a well disguised bottle of wine can be a lovely meal for two.  Bring a blanket and fun game to play to work up an appetite, before or after the meal.

4. Enjoying fish and chips literally on the beach: order a two -piece with fries to share, sitting on a blanket in the sand.  And then grab cold ice cream cones afterwards and stroll along the beach to watch the sunset.

5. Patios are now open and Happy Hour now on most menus, so you can eat, drink and be merry.  Find a picturesque location to enjoy the libations and you will probably enjoy much more.

6. Go on a wine tasting.  Most wineries have free tastings or the fee is waved when you purchase a bottle.  And let's be honest who doesn't end up buying a bottle before they leave.  Lots of local wineries allow you to bring your own food for picnics.  And Backyard Winery in South Langley is open late Friday and Saturday nights.  Pop in for a tasting or a glass and let the magic of the wine do the rest.

7. Create a playlist of your relationship soundtrack, and dance the night away in your backyard or just reminisce when and where you two first heard that song together.  What makes that song important to you?

8. Too hot to sleep upstairs, then pull your mattress downstairs where it is cool.  Set up a movie night of romantic comedies and see where the night takes you.

If you have any fun and affordable ways to keep weekly date nights alive, then tell me about them.

Summer Bucket List

Last years berry harvest

The air is rich with heat and the scent of warm grass, and the daylight lingers so long it almost wears out its welcome.  Now you know it's Summer.  Time once again when we all seem to write long lists of "things" we want to do through July and August.  And if you are like me, your list is too long to really accomplish it.

By Aug 30th my post summer- guilt kicks in and I'm kicking myself for not learning to paddle- board (that has been on my list for the last three years).  Much like New Years Resolutions, the Summer Bucket list can be difficult to complete; you have so many new and exciting things to do or see that the 100 item list is virtually impossible to cram into 60 days.  Between work, family and housework when will you check off even half of the list? I'm lucky in that I do have the 60 days work free and I still never fully cross off every item on my Bucket List.

So how do you accomplish the list completely, avoiding the post summer- guilt, you ask?  Well, one thing you can do is what my Bestie does- write a Summer Mantra that helps encompass many aspects of summer into one sentence.  She hasn't posted hers yet, but I think mine last year was- This is the summer of Wellness, Good Food and Great Company.  So in other words I wanted to relax, keep fit, hang out with people I love and enjoy all the yummy summer food.  All you need to do is write This is the summer of.... and fill in the blank with 3-4 things you want to focus on.  I usually do the mantra and then I make a long bucket list.

Cabin View

I haven't written my mantra yet, but my list is already forming.  I have decided to write 15 doable things and when I cross off at least 10 I will add 2 more, and so on.  That way by Aug 30th I should have my entire list crossed off in black slashes.  Also I'm choosing most activities that are in my wheelhouse and adding only one or two that is not, in hopes it will happen this summer, so it can get off my Maybe Next year list.

My Summer Bucket List:

1. Berry Picking with my mom at Krause Berry Farms
2. Eat fish n' chips from Moby Dicks' on the beach
3.Attend an outdoor concert or play
4.Spend a few days at the lake alone to write
5.Swim at Shuswap lake
6.Campfire and S'mores
7.Get away with just Scott and Triggs
8.Go on a boat ride

Boat Ride last year

9.Eat ice cream while strolling along a beach
10. Attend or Host a BBQ with friends
11. Drink The Flame ( an ice wine we bought three summers ago)
12.Play at the beach with my nieces and family
13. Make homemade boozy Popsicles
14.Read a book in a day
15. Paddle Board (it's happening this year)

Mantra: This is the summer of yoga, writing, fabulous company and romance

Yes, I said romance.  Stay tuned for my inexpensive dates and ways to ignite the flame post

So start your list or mantra and share it with me.  What is the first thing you want to do this summer?

?

Ole Ole Ole

This post is supposed to be tongue-in-cheek, so all you FIFA fans please take this as just that.

It recently occurred to me that it has been almost two months since I last wrote a blog post, and while most people would think I'd post something about the teacher-strike, I have to say quiet frankly I'm done talking about it.  So instead here is my view on something that has taken over our house in the last week and a half- FIFA World Cup!!

Most of you know I'm not an expert on sports, let alone soccer.  Nor do I usually notice sports unless my husband is watching them and even then I'm usually wrapped up in the Twitter verse to really know what is happening.  Then one day last week this weird phenomenon happened- I was home bored and I put on FIFA.  And I have to say I was impressed by these athletic Gods of the soccer ball.  When Scott came home he asked what I did that day and I replied "watched the World Cup".  He almost fell over.

Then he asked me why.  I replied " because have you seen these guys?  They are remarkable.  Not only are these men incredibly athletic and passionate about their sport, but ALL of them are sexy.  I don't know if it's the uniform, or all the running and sweating, but there is something to be said about soccer players.  They are something to look at". He chimed in with "aren't all athletes good-looking?"

"Not really" I smirked.  So I went on to explain my grading system of the sports we regularly watch- Hockey, Football, and Golf.

* Hockey players are probably well-tuned athletes too, but they wear bulky uniforms that cover up everything, and they have missing teeth, brutish looks and they spit a lot while on the bench.  Not my cup of tea.

 * Football players are pretty much the same as hockey players, and some of them are definitely not in the best of shape.

Then you have Golfers.  They may dress nicely, but with the exception of Adam Scott, there isn't much sex appeal; it's kind of like watching your dad or brother play.  Not to mention the matches are slow and can be boring.

Soccer and Australian Football are new sports in our household and I'm slowly learning the lingo and rules, but in the meantime, I'm finding it pretty exciting to watch.  No to mention it keeps my mind off of other stressful things.  So Ole, Ole, Ole...

What Colour Is Your Yoga Mat?: Start Of My Yoga Journey

In the end of 2013 I set a goal for myself to try something new.  I chose to join a yoga studio.  Now, I've practiced yoga before in the confines of a rec center setting, but I knew I wanted something more.  I needed a place to challenge my physical and mental self and at the same time provide balance in my chaotic schedule.  I found this and more at Hari Om Yoga Studios in Langley, B.C.

When I joined in late December I told myself this was not going to be just one of those New years Resolutions that many people make and break after a few short months.  Weighing the cost of attending this studio and my time I knew I had to commit to a minimum of three sessions a week to make it worth while.  I wanted to experiment and see if this form of exercise was all I needed, as I had become bored at the gym- treadmills were not cutting it anymore.

I took my magenta hued mat and my classic Lulu attire and attended my first class, and I was hooked.  This gorgeous bamboo floored studio, with a large picture window over-looking a forest of trees invited me in, and the inclusive instructors and owners captured my heart.  I find myself going four times a week, and if I didn't have to work I'd be there more.

So what's with the colour of the mat?  Why is that important?  Well I don't think the colour of your mat matters, and it won't reveal anything about your personality, but it is one thing I observe in every class.  This is a good thing, as before I was more focused on how I measured up to the other yogis I practiced with instead of just focusing on my own practice.  And as the months have gone by I have trained myself to be more curious about the Easter Egg basket of colours I see while twisting into poses rather than competing with the people to twist the furthest.  I know now it isn't a competition and that everyone's body is different and we all have varying abilities.  Yoga is a journey without a destination as once you have mastered a pose it doesn't mean you are done.  You are never finished, since our bodies shift continuously our abilities to achieve more room to stretch and twist will vary.  One day you might be able to get into Winged Dragon pose and the next maybe Baby Dragon is all your body is up for.

Another thing I have realized is that my body has become stronger and leaner over these months.  I try to get in some cardio, from time to time, but I'm not obsessed with losing weight anymore.  I am becoming comfortable in my skin and celebrating my body for what it is now and yoga has done that for me.

And doing something for just me is something I'm lucky enough to do four times a week.  I'm fortunate to have the extra time to indulge in yoga in this particular way and that my husband is so supportive of me in doing this for just me.  I know not many women take the time every week to do something just for them, but if you could what would it be?  In a sense what colour is your mat, your thing you love to do alone, just for you?

The Wallflower Learns to Slightly Peel Herself Off The Sidelines

Lately I've been doing a lot of soul -searching and trying to figure out who I am and just being comfortable in my own skin.  With the help of a life coach I have begun to accept myself and push myself at the same time to become the person I want to be.  The latter months of 2013 proved to be more than stressful on my marriage and myself and I needed to get control.  When I started my journey with my life coach I didn't know the emotional impact it would have on me.  I had to ask myself some tough questions and my answers were tough pills to swallow.  The biggest realization for me was that I have a tough time asking for help partly because I don't want to be a burden on other people.  And not getting what I need is a result of that.  In addition to that I learned fear of the unknown and being out of control are learned conditions I have lived in for years. Then if you add the fact I am a shy and introverted person, it takes a lot for me to do things that seem easy or normal for a lot of people, such as: asking a store -clerk for help; driving to a place I've never been before; or trying a new activity.  These simple activities take a lot of self- talk and can be exhausting to think about so sometimes it's easier to not do them.

So after some sessions, which ended in January, and a big commitment to change on my part, I have been able to gain control and set goals for myself to be a more confident and extroverted person.  This better version of myself is crucial for my goals of getting in shape, living a more balanced life and the biggest one- publishing my book.

During this process I also discovered that introvert is not a bad word.  Growing up in a society that values extroverted people and choosing an extroverted  profession in education I had to become more extroverted in my professional realm, and sometimes in my social realm too.  But the truth is, I love being an introvert.  For the longest time guilt or moments of social awkwardness reigned over me as I felt the need to be an extrovert as that is "the norm", and not how I want to be.  Many people perceive you as being strange in a social setting to sit back and take in the scene.  Looking back now, I see that my dad is an introvert and when I observe him he sits quietly and then chimes in when the moment is right.  My natural response is to the same but I also can't stand the silence that can build in a conversation with a stranger, so I spend time before a big social gathering preparing questions to ask new people I meet to help keep the conversation going.  It can be tiring.

I also realize that I enjoy spending time in solitude.  My perfect weekend is just me and the novel I'm reading or the one I'm working on.  I also love just being alone with my thoughts.  My best creative ideas come from strolling in the wilderness, alone.  I also love shopping alone and exercising alone.  I think that is why I'm drawn to individual athletic pursuits, like walking, swimming, and yoga.  Yes I know I practice yoga in a studio full of people, but most times I focus on my me and my mat.

So what I'm figuring out is that it is okay to be an introvert but as long as my needs are being met, which means in certain settings I have to be extroverted.  And on the other hand it is okay to indulge my shy, quiet side too.  And after practicing some of my new techniques I feel I'm growing into the person I want to be.

Romance Is In The Spring Air

Porpoise Bay

Every time Scott and I drive off the ferry and onto the Sunshine Coast the world around us slows down, the colours become more vibrant and the air is a little more fresh.  Over the past five years we have visited Sechelt almost every Spring or Summer.  It is the one place that I can't get enough of and I take comfort in the familiarity of it. The laid back rhythm, small town feel and breath-taking scenery bring me back every year.  I crave it every Spring.  For me, and I think Scott, it the perfect romantic get-a-away that is long over due by the Spring.  You see we have no problem taking time to reconnect with one another in the summer, but once Sept starts so does the rapid everyday routines that we get stuck doing.  And by December we kick it into high gear with family dinners, parties, the crazed hustle and bustle of the holidays themselves.  Then we seem to gravitate back to the usual routines of going to work, make dinner, clean up and take in a few hours of TV.  The weekends are busy with chores and trying to slip in a few romantic dates along the way.  By Spring I need some quality alone time with my husband.  I'm sure most couples can relate to this and if you add in a few "ankle-biters" you are long over due for romance.

So this Spring I booked us in at Wildflowers B&B (not our usual place) but one I'm familiar with.  It is so fantastic- large manicured property with a duck pond, and gardens, with two private cabins away from the main house, which is a great place to really let your hair down.  The proprietors- Doug and Darcy, pull out all the stops when it comes to comfort and fine -dining quality food.  Each cabin contains a King bed, fire place, shower for two, soaker tub, private hot tub and more.  An added bonus is the intermittent Wi-Fi which really forces you to put down the devices and heaven forbid TALK.  We even kept the TV off while we were there.  Without the distractions we chatted for hours about everything.

Porpoise Bay

Porpoise Bay

Before we checked in we stopped by our favorite pub The Lighthouse and enjoyed a scrumptious lunch and discovered our new fav. red wine- Beso Di Vino- a Spanish blend of Syrah and Garnacha.  And as per usual we ended up coming back that night for dinner.  Later we donned our swimsuits and a had long soak in the hot tub.  While we were soaking in the warm water listening to the frogs croak we spotted a fox hiding in the grass by the pond.  He didn't say anything :)

Hot Tub Gazebo 

Our cabin at Wildflowers

The next morning we dined on eggs benny in homemade yorkshire puddings, fruit salad, and homemade croissants.  Normally after breakfast we would get on our hiking gear and visit the Schoocimchuck Rapids, but this time we just wanted to relax, so we had massages in our room in the late afternoon, after a few hours poking around Sechelt.

Our view from our cabin

We have never had massages in our own room before so I wasn't sure if they would be as good as going to a spa.  Well I have to say my massage was the best and it was great not having to change out of my robe afterwards and drive anywhere.  Instead Scott and I lounged around eating cheese and crackers and sipping wine before getting ready for dinner at our old haunt Rockwater.

View from ferry 

The next morning we packed up, ate banana and custard stuffed french toasts and headed back home to reality.  For 2.5 days we escaped our routines and just enjoyed one another's company.

I always think we need to do this more often but alas real-life seems to take the lead. :)

Leave Brookswood Alone!!!!

In the past week things in my life have turned upside down.  I was given information about how my community and the way I live my daily life could be destroyed all due to 10 landowners in my area.  I have attended a couple hearings and even gave a speech Wednesday night expressing my concern.  For those of you who were not in attendance here is what I said that night.

Mayor, Council Members and fellow Brookswood Families, my name is Margo Freeman and I live at 19721 41A Ave, right off the proposed expansion of 40^th Ave and 196^th street.

I'm here tonight to ask to you to vote NO to the proposed Community Plan.  My husband and I moved here five year ago from the over-populated, concrete slab, called Willoughby.  We were sick of the noise pollution, heavy traffic and lack of green space.  We left this hustle and bustle way of life to seek a quieter location, filled with clean air, and nature on our door step.  We thought we’d have to move to a rural town up North, but we were soon elated not only to find Brookswood but also our parcel of land.  Who could dream of a street where you can consider your neighbours your friends, where ancient cedars line the streets and shade your house from the beating sun? Where you can watch bald eagles soar overhead, and observe birds nesting in the trees?  We couldn’t believe we had found a street that is so nestled in that you feel secluded from the rest of the world and you can walk mere steps into a lush forest rich with wildlife and trails.  We had found paradise, and anyone who visits remarks on how lucky we are to live here.

I thought we’d plant deep roots of our own beside the firs and walnut trees in our yard.  We planned on building a life for decades here.  Why would we want to leave?  Every day when I leave the concrete jungle of Langley City and cross over the boundary into Brookwood it is like there is an audible sigh and relief and I have entered a small town.  I love that.

On 196^th street and 40^th it is quiet.  Children play in the street and their laughter lingers in the air.  There isn’t that constant truck and car noise pollution that would be there instead if this proposal goes through.  There won’t be children playing on a major road way.  Only noise.  I didn’t move to this street to live in a concrete world full of noise and dangerous drivers.  I don’t think any of my neighbours did either, especially the ones on 196^th and 40^th.  We enjoy having our space and privacy.  We thrive on the notion our street is safe.  If these plans go through we live next to a dangerous road with easy access for all sorts of people who may want to rob and harm us. 

We did not plan to raise families and build legacies mirrored off of 200^th and 72^nd.  If this plan goes ahead, everything we strive to protect, strive to maintain will be lost.  Our sense of community and our way of life will cease to exist.  You will destroy and devastate so many lives here.  Not to mention the environmental impact.  No more birds, no more rabbits, no more deer.  All gone.

Please Vote NO

If you feel the same way speak up and attend the Brookswood 

Rally on March 22nd at the Brookswood Water park at noon!!! 

 Don't Keep Calm, Keep Fighting On Brookswood!

Did You Say Nap? Sign Me Up

The other day my sister called at 5:30 pm just as my husband and I were about to have a nap.  I answered amusingly explaining how we were hunkered down on the couch with blankets ready for a quick snooze before making dinner.  My sister exclaimed she couldn't remember the last time she had a nap, let alone one at prime time (5:30) in a house where her two kids were running around waiting for dinner.  It was then we both realized our daily lives are polar opposites.  My sister has two beautiful girls -3 and 8 years old, and like most moms she is busy with them from the time she gets up to when they eventually go to bed.  It's a fine dance that she does well.  The more we talked about it the more we discovered the things I do an a daily or weekly basis are activities she dreams of doing when her two "mini-me's" go away on vacation to visit their grandparents.

So here is a top six list of regular daily things I take for granted because I'm child-free

1. Only having to get myself up and ready for the day.

2. Spontaneously go to the store to pick things up.  I don't have to bundle up kids and pack them with me to the store to pick up a bottle of wine or a stick of butter.   When I need to go out I just do.

3.Soak in a tub of bubbles and let the world melt away without any interruptions

4. Cook and eat whatever, whenever for dinner

5. Stay up late and not worry about getting up with little ones.  This goes along with uninterrupted sleep, which is a struggle for parents of young children.

6. Indulge in going to the gym or yoga class whenever I please for hours.


So after creating this list I thought of the things I don't get to do on a regular basis because I don't have kids.  I know I miss out in these things because I hear about them from my mom- friends.

1. Celebrate holiday traditions I grew up enjoying, like carve pumpkins (isn't not the same as an adult); dye and hunt for Easter eggs; and decorating gingerbread houses.

2. Building snowmen and fanning snow angels in the snow

3. Parking in the "parent" spot at the grocery store

4. Watching animated movies at the theater without strange looks

5. Early morning snuggles under a blanket while taking in some Sesame Street

6. Playing summer games like hop scotch, hula hoop, and draw with chalk in the driveway

So my sister and I have varying busy lives, but one thing is for sure we love chatting on the phone while cooking or washing dishes.

Would You Like To Swing On A Star? (tribute to my Nan: Linda Smith)

Whenever I would visit with my Nan she would always sing these little tunes from a time and place I wasn't a part of.  They were ditties of her time well before mine.  My favourite one started with a question, "Would you like to swing on a star and carry moonbeams home in a jar?"  Her sweet voice would rattle off that simple, heavenly image and let it float around the room like a whisper- soothing, comforting.

As I grew older I'd find myself humming or singing just that phrase, while washing dishes, or folding clothes, and I'd think of her and smile.  When I had a tough day I'd think of my Nan and be reminded of the strong woman she was,  and I'd hear her gentle voice say, "Don't mind Duck (she called all twelve of her grandchildren and her five great grandchildren- Ducks)."  I'm not sure what 'Don't mind Duck' meant but it made me feel better.

On the morning of her passing, Saturday January 25 2013, feeling disillusioned, I sang the lovely words, "Would you like to swing on a star?"  And it was then that I realized this line was a lesson of hers.  I'm not sure if she intended it to be, but now I see it as one of the many things I learned from my Nan.  It's a ridiculous notion to think you could swing on a star and capture moonbeams to take home, but the imagery it creates is innocent and lovely.  I take it as a sign that we should find moments in our busy, mundane, lives and see some innocence, or take a simple break and picture something beautiful.

Unfortunately, I didn't grow up living in the same city as my Nan, so we didn't spend multitudes of time together.  Though when I went to Winnipeg to visit or she came here, we'd have fun together.  My Nan loved to have fun and laugh.  She had this hardy laugh that could fill a room and it was contagious.  She always had something witty to say.  We'd go shopping, eat fish and chips, watch movies, or play a game of cards.  Oh man, did she love a good card game. It might have been her competitive nature that made her love cards so much, but I think the real reason she valued card night was just spending time with people she loved.  I remember one summer at Matlock beach sitting with her in a screened in porch, learning how to play Rummy.  I think we played for hours while the sun baked outside.  This taught me the value of time with loved ones.

In continuing with  her lessons, I knew she was the matriarch of the Smith clan.  And like the song Ho Hey by the Lumineers, which states: 'Show me family and all the blood that I would bleed....I belong with you, you belong with me...", it's true.  Everything that made us who we are stems from Nan.  She created this wonderful, which maybe not be perfect, but we all know we can lean on one another and that we all belong.  We all bleed the same Smith blood.  She showed us what it means to be tough, but at the same time be empathetic, nurturing, warm, generous, and to just be yourself.  Also she lived by the motto, "please yourself."

Nan danced to the beat of her own drum.  Unlike most grandmothers, my nan wore bright, happy colours, and dyed her hair lovely different shades of browns and reds.  She spoke her mind, and stayed up late.  And as mentioned before, she liked having a good time.  She could make everyday events a little more whimsical.  I remember as a child she would make breakfast fun by cutting toast into strips and calling them "Toast fingers" to dip in your runny eggs.  I hated eggs growing up, but this seemed to do the trick.  She'd also make bed-time fun by giving us 'eats', which was a mishmash of little food, like cut up cheese, a handful of grapes, and a few rosebud chocolates.  I can still recall sitting on the back porch of a cabin, in my summer PJs, all fresh for bed, and my sister and I eating our eats from our little sectioned plates, as the sunset and the heat eased away.

Since we didn't live close by, Nan and I would write letters to one another, keeping up a strong correspondence.  She'd ask me about school and which picture-shows I'd seen recently.  She'd inquire about my friends and my hobbies.  I'm sure I asked her about bingo and the news of the family back East.  Those letters and a few pictures are the only physical pieces I have left of her.  And my memories.  So many...one that sticks out is the feeling of her strong, wrinkled hand, squeezing mine.  I can almost feel it.  She always squeezed my hand when I saw her, and she'd tell me how proud she was of me and how beautiful I had become.  The last time I held her hand was on her 90th birthday, three years ago.  Seems like a life time ago.

So in Nan fashion I sign off by saying God Bless xo xo
I love you Nan

Breathe: New Word For 2014

Imagine you are stuck in a traffic jam, late for an appointment.  You sit there stewing or verbally assaulting imaginary people because you are late and angry. Or you are rushing around all day trying to accomplish one task, but can't seem to get it done.  And before you absolutely lose it you say to yourself "Just Breathe."  And after that breath, everything calms slightly.  It's a simple phrase but one that works.

Last year I decided to give up 'New Years Resolutions' and instead adopt a word or a phrase that I would focus my life around.  Last year's word was detoxify; a very weighted word.  One that many people felt was harsh.  Regardless I think I was successful in eliminating the negative people, and toxic self-talk out of my life (for the most part.).  This year's


word is breathe...

A simple, euphonic word.  It is not just the inherent need to fill my lungs with oxygen, but also a metaphoric desire to put life in perspective.  In the Autumn of 2013, I met with a personal coach, who helped me with many aspects of my life; the biggest of which was focusing on what is most important in my life and live honouring that.  Yes, regular, everyday chores and work need to get done, but not at the price of neglecting my inner -self and the ones I love.

So how does this tie into breathing?  Well, I have taken to listening to my body more and have noticed what I crave is inner-peace.  I want to be healthy and reduce stress, and oxygen helps with both.  So instead of forcing on a type of exercise I don't enjoy (which I've been doing for a while now), I have focused on practising yoga as a means to find a balanced, healthy lifestyle.  My favourite part, but most challenging is the Shavasana (the meditation and deep breathing portion.)  I find it hard to calm my thoughts most days, as I spend my days teaching, which requires a jugglers mind- a handful of thoughts working at he same time. Yoga is teaching me to slow my thoughts and quieten them from time to time.  I also find that after a class I feel light, and airy, not a care in the world.

I've also decided to forgo the "I need to lose weight" adage and adopt the " I want to be healthy." This outlook can only be achieved by breathing.  In times of stress and frustration I breathe.  In times of uncertainty I breathe.  To ward off illness I breathe.

Will this work in every moment of everyday, probably not- I'm human.  But I will try to breathe as deeply and as much as I can in 2014 and hope I find a happy, healthy and balanced year.

What is your word or resolution this year?