I'm 40 and I couldn't be happier. Most cringe at the idea but I for one embrace this new age. I see it as a rite of passage, or an opportunity to embrace the person I have become and say goodbye to the people and things that don't serve me.
I spent my 20s having fun but also lost. Many moments I'd never want to relive. My 30s were spent figuring out who I am and my 40s will be loving just that person. For the past decade I've experienced significant life events that have shaped who I am. The biggest being my divorce nine years ago. I left what appeared to be a cookie cutter charmed life- new townhouse, fancy vacations, and a husband who loved me. However under the surface was a myriad of problems; long story short I asked for a separation followed quickly by a divorce. It was a defining moment in my life. The hardest decision I've ever made. And when I look back now it was the best decision. It taught me that I am damn strong and that I can be independent. Before then I never lived in my own and when I left my ex I had to rent a basement suite and live alone. That experience taught me how to be okay with just myself. It gave me time to figure out what I wanted in life and to not settle for anything less.
When I met my current husband we spent the better past of our first six months together discussing the "big 5" topics all couples should iron out before they make a serious commitment- money, lifestyle, kids, future goals and sex. Neither of us wanted to waste time tiptoeing around these subjects only to find out we were not on the same page and it was too late. Through this time I came to fully see the future I wanted and kids were not in that picture. As it turned out Scott felt the same way in all the other aspects too.
Not having children was the next biggest decision in my life. But choosing not to be a mother in a kidcentric society has not proved to be easy, especially when it comes to friendships. Many of you who have followed my blog know that I have struggled to maintain friendships after kids are brought into the mix. Some have shifted and lasted and some did not survive. All the women in my life have children, expect for two. And most have young children which makes it more challenging. And because of this I found myself gravitating more to the women in my life who are passed the baby/toddler stage. And though I miss seeing my other friends I'm not sad about it.Now that I am 40 I don't regret not having kids. This was a huge concern for a lot of people in my life but not me. I don't miss it. And another thing I have noticed about me is that I have become bolder. Many people I work with say I exude more confidence and get out of my comfort zone more often. I speak my mind more both at work and and in my personal life too. This newly found attitude has led me to say when I don't care for something or don't want to do something and not be sorry about it. And I have been able to cut out a lot of drama in my life too.
At my 40th birthday last month I took a moment and drank in the party that was happening around me. I felt so blessed. In the garden oasis that my husband, family and friends created with magical lighting, decorations and amazing food, were so many of my closest people having a good time. And what struck me was that not only did they want to be there to celebrate so many of them wanted to pitch in and help. I didn't have to do a thing. I am so fortunate to have these people in my life that care for me as much as I do them.
Thanks all!
I'm so excited to see what 40 brings into my life.
