2016: Oh What A Year

2016 was the year of rebirth, strength, and patience. Not much took place in January or February, expect enjoying the fruits of our labors with our kitchen and house renovations.  They were all wrapped up by the end of winter.  Then a huge change occurred- my husband made a business decision that finally brought forth work and home balance.  Over the last three years he has been building his business and it has been a struggle.  But when he refocused his business plan he found balance and in turn created a harmonious home life.  Not saying that our life was inharmonious before but now life is happier and easier.

 Thus began the chapter of rebirth for 2016.  When I look back now I think this turn in event spurned me to reconsider two aspects of my life and gain better control- one being work.  I ended June utterly physically and mentally drained.  Part of this was a low iron and B12 count, which took many months to rectify. Another was my teaching load.  Trying to balance junior and senior programs was not working for me, there was too much juggle between the two.  So when my department head asked what I wanted to teach next year I bitter sweetly gave up the juniors.  I love teaching grade 8's and 9's but the way the program was heading I knew I couldn't keep up the pace, so I bowed out, looking to focus on seniors.  This was the best decision I could make for my sanity.  I finished 2016 feeling less stressed than the previous year.  

Also in terms of rebirth I let go of relationships that stopped serving me.  I spent too much time hoping and waiting for certain people to make time for me; saying they wanted to but couldn't find the time.  The way I see it if you really want to see someone then you make the time.  And once I finally let them go I opened myself to others who I truly enjoy spending time with.  And I'm not sure if I would have done this if I hadn't mindfully cut ties with other people. 

Jumping back to late Spring, my husband and I ventured to Fraserway RV show to look around with a few friends and left with a new trailer.  Thus sparking the glamping bug in me.  We ended up doing six camping trips all together, even one in November for Cornucopia Wine Festival in Whistler. 

Summer flew by with trips to the lake, and one special, fun-filled trip to visit my sister and her family in Drayton Valley.  We had lots of laughs and silly times together, like going to the beach for a day, eating ice cream cones the size of our heads, watching Adventures in Babysitting (new and old versions), and of course my sister and I staying up all night long chatting. 

In between trips I enjoyed my time at home.  This chapter is fondly titled Strength and Patience.  At the start of summer I became obsessed with American Ninja Warrior.  This strength and agility based obstacle course reality show inspired my to want to be stronger and more fit.  My idol from the show is Jessie Graff, who is incredibly strong.  My mantra for the summer was What would Jessie Graff Do?  This question helped me to stay focused on eating healthy and working out.  By the end of summer I had lost 15 pounds and felt invigorated.  However I injured my shoulder in early summer, and instead of letting it heal (which Jesse would have done) I pushed myself and it took over four  months to heal it, thus preventing me to reach my goal of defined arm muscles.  The hardest part of recovering was simply letting my body do just that.  It took many set backs for me to realize I needed to be patient with my body. Eventually I'll reach my goal: I now know it will just take time.  

September was the start a wonderful school year.  October boasted a thanksgiving camping trip with the neighbors, and November as mentioned earlier noted a trip to Whistler.  Rain happened for most of the Fall and so with December here a cold snap has stunned our neck of the woods with lots of snow. 

All in all it was a fabulous year with more adventures to come in 2017.  

Yes, I'm Still Childfree

Through work and other various functions, I've been meeting a lot of new people lately, and the number one question is still do you have kids?  A societal norm, especially for women my age.  Most women in their late thirties have at least one if not two kids.  But I don't.  And it's so interesting to see people's reactions when I reply no.  Men tend to simply accept it and don't try to analyze or qualify my answer in any means. They get it. But women are different, they judge. Some grimace and nod their heads and say don't worry you will one day.  It takes time they say.  I sigh and explain that I don't want them and never really have.  If I tell people that I'm a teacher then most times it shuts them up, because in their eyes having students makes up for it.  But if I don't mention that tidbit of info I get shock and sometimes preachy responses; like I'll regret it or that I'm missing out.

Missing out, I want to say, on what? a person who takes over your entire life, sleepless nights, whining, crying, grimy hands, someone who will destroy my house, and possibly my marriage. No thanks.  I'm not missing out.

And I love it when women try to convince me at a party that I should have kids because it will be different with my own, and that somehow I'll feel differently holding my new born.  As though my choice, which took years in the making, is going to be suddenly over- turned by a woman gripping a wine glass, who knows nothing about me. It's the same women who never ask why I don't want kids, who go into a myriad reasons why I should. It's my job as a woman, I need to fulfill my duty, my societal obligation. And my favourite: I'll never experience what it's like to give birth or breast feed. I've never swam with crocodiles but I can honestly say I don't need to experience it to know I don't want to.

I'm sure for women who truly wanted children they don't regret their decision. But let's be honest there are women out there who are regretting their decision about motherhood.  It's almost impossible to change your mind once you become a mom.  These are the ones who thought motherhood was Pinterest activities and cute Facebook posts about little Johnny. They didn't realize the enormity of the job and how life consuming it is. There has to be women out there who long for their old lives back.  A time when they'd go out with friends at a moments notice, take a nap, or literally do as they pleased  without a worry. Trust me as an outsider it is astonishing to see how much people change when they have kids. There isn't much that we have in common, or that is what it seems as they only talk about the baby and only about the baby.  It's like the rest of their lives literally disappeared.

To all the people out there who think I should have children because they are worried about who is going to take care of me when I'm wrinkled and grey; I'm not worried so you shouldn't be.

Rest assured my decision was a long time in the making and I have many reasons for foregoing motherhood.  And since most don't ask and assume I hate kids (which I don't) I thought I'd end this post with my top 3 reasons, in case you were wondering:

3. Over Population: already there are too many humans on this planet and since we are living longer there certainly doesn't need to be any extra, especially ones that are unwanted.

2. Love My Life: this sounds selfish but I do love my lifestyle.  I feel I have cultivated a life that I adore and I'm always searching for ways to better myself.  It took a long time to get to know me and I don't want to lose that sense of self.  I let that happen once and I'll never do it again.

1. A Lasting Marriage: though this isn't a guarantee I think without kids my husband and I have a better shot of succeeding than couples who are parents. I've put my marriage as my top priority and I know I couldn't do that with kids.

A Rooster, A Baby Shower, and Family Shenanigans

June flew by in a whirl wind of stress so I was more than ready to kick off my summer break with time at Shuswap lake with my family. They say family is who makes you feel at home and not only do my biological family feel that way, but also my lake family too.  These are people I have known my entire life and who know me the best. It started years ago before I was born, my parents met this amazing group of people who became their best friends. These people had kids around the same time my parents did and in turn they became my other sisters and brothers. My parents friends became my aunts and uncles; people I can depend on and learn from.

So this weekend was nothing like I had spent at the lake in years. There were some strange occurrences that I would have never predicted.  The first being wild life that dictated how we operated in our daily lives at the cabin. The big brown bear that occupied the golf course and air strip meant that we had to be on alert in our yard, as we are situated between both locations. My nieces and my mom had a close call their first day there. Then the rooster, yes I said rooster, who was taking stake in the woods behind our cabin made sure we got up with the crack of dawn. My husband joked he was going to go up there and take care of it after the first early morning wake up call. I'm sure our dog would have loved the hunt.

The second weird thing that happened was my sister and I locked ourselves out of the cabin at 2:00 am. We were having one of our marathon chats on the deck and when we finally wrapped it up in the wee hours of morning we figured out all the doors to the cabin were locked. (I locked the last one). So while giggling our heads off we determined my sister could climb into the open window of her room. Something tells me we will never forget that late night gossip session.

The rest of the weekend wasn't strange but it was unexpected. We attended the best baby shower ever. I can say this as I traditionally hate going to them so this one surprised me. It was more of a party with the whole family, delicious food, sangria, champagne, a beautiful garden and a terrific couple who are about to have a baby. We ended the party with a spontaneous swim in the lake. I recall standing at the top of the embankment before I made my way down to the beach and took in the scenery. There before me, minus a few of our lake family, were the people I care so much about.  They were laughing, swimming and mingling on the dock.  To top it off Scott brought Triggs down for a swim and he had a blast.

Later that night another memorable moment happened.  Scott and my youngest niece chased one another in the moonlit yard playing a game of tickle monster and then before bed they coloured while discussing the art of camping. People worry that Scott and I are missing out for not having children of our own. I like to disagree. We have many children in our lives and lots of lovely family to keep us company. This weekend was a testament to that belief. I wish I had pictures to share but alas I got so caught up in the fun there was no time.

All Is Coming.

"All Is Coming" is an expression one of my yoga instructors taught me awhile ago.  Essentially it means that one day the thing you desire or hope for will happen.  This is important in yoga because most yogis strive to achieve certain poses which take time to do, so the idea that all is coming helps with patience.

Back in April I used this mantra several times during my 5 week serious yoga student immersion class.  When I first entertained the idea of doing such a series back in January I was apprehensive and yet curious.  Could I do this level of practice? Knowing who was going to lead the classes I recognized that it was going to be very challenging but at the same time very rewarding.  I knew it would not be easy and at times frustrating, uncomfortable and would leave me feeling sore.  Though after practicing yoga at a certain level for two years I knew in January I needed to take my practice to the next level.  I needed a challenge and a push to help me get to a level where I wanted to be, where I could entertain some higher level postures without feeling defeated. So when I heard about this immersion series, where for once a week for five weeks I'd get a glimpse of what yoga teacher training looked like, I knew this is what would take my practice to the next level.  But at the same time I was freaked out because what if I couldn't keep up with the class? What if I couldn't do the poses? What if I failed? What if?

For those who know me, I play the what if game anytime there is uncharted territory and all my what ifs are negative, leaving me imagining worst case scenarios.  Yet this time something inside of me said if I didn't take the risk I'd regret it. So I signed up and made a commitment. The weeks leading up to the first class I imagined what the class was going to look like; I imagined best case scenarios, like me getting into full wheel and crow. Imagined worst case scenarios like being forced to do a head stand (this scares me to death by the way). I imagined not being able to keep up.

On my first night I told myself that I was going to try to do everything I possibly could.   was going to repeat All Is Coming when my body couldn't twist and bend a certain way, and I was going to have fun. I got to class early, set up my mat and my journey began. Within a few minutes I knew I had arrived and was apart of something so special.  Everyone was in the same mind set; we were all here to learn. We were a community of serious yogis. It was so cool. By the end of the first class, where I had never worked so hard in a yoga class before, where I was attempting moves and holding plank for what seemed like forever (30 seconds.  Don't laugh, you try it and see how you do.) I felt so elated that I did it. I survived and I couldn't wait to come back.

On my last night, when we were all done, laying in Savasana, I realized I didn't master any of the poses I thought I would and I was never forced to do head stand but rather encouraged to try. Even though what I expected to happen didn't I realized that wasn't the point of the course.  The point was to realize my limits, stop beating myself up when I couldn't do something, and lastly how to be mindful while on my mat.  One day I'll master the poses, but that isn't the point.  The journey is the point.  And knowing that All Is Coming keeps me going.

Living Your Best Life

Last Sunday as I was sipping on a glass of Merlot, savoring the oakey notes, in the warm spring sun on the Township 7 patio in Langley, Scott turned to me and said this is the life. In truth, this is our life; we are fortunate to be living the lifestyle we want, with one another. In saying thus we don't drink wine at a winery every Sunday but we do try to make the most of our weekends. Our weeks are usually busy with work and keeping up with the household, so our weekends are the only real quality time we have together, until just recently. 

I'm not sure exactly when it happened, but between the utter chaos of January -Spring break some strange shift occurred. Suddenly out of no where, Scott was home earlier from work than ever before and had more energy and thus provided more time together.

Last year was extremely trying with his hernia and keeping his business going.  We sort of went into survival mode.  When summer hit we found ourselves busy with our trip to Iceland, and planning a renovation, which took over our lives until early January. My work had been usually demanding this year and before I knew it spring had snuck up on us and like a switch everything changed. The air softened, became more fragrant, time slowed, and Scott and I found ourselves living what we describe as the best life. The new rhythm to our life was one we could embrace. Somehow Scott found work/life balance and I had spring break. Now back at work I have realized I need to find a better balance with my course load and I hoping by next September I will find that. In the meantime I'll focus on my home life with Scott. Finally after a long winter we can make plans for the weekends and enjoy our haven in the Fraser Valley- wine tasting, lunches on patios, antique browsing in Fort Langley, and dinners on our deck with our friends. Life is good, actually it is the best. Some of the recent high lights this spring has been celebrating my parents' 45th wedding anniversary in Fort Langley, with my aunt and uncle, spending time with our friends for dinners, including a memorable night with our God son and his parents, and Easter with the family in Shuswap.  

So whether you are kid- free like us, or living with children's laughter, you need to find out how to live your best life now, because you never know when things can change.  

Strength

Strength! It's my word for 2016. Most would interrupt the word as in the physical sense that I'm strengthening my physical body.  Lots of truth in that, but I'm stretching tit o mean my mind, and my relationships. I'd say in the last six months or so I have let my body go and some of my friendships. I have turned inward for too long and now I feel stagnated.  As an introvert this can happen as it more comfortable to draw inward than extend ourselves in social situations.  And in doing so I have lost contact with women who fulfill me.  It's one thing to see them in larger group settings but another in same gender settings or even one on one.

It took for a friend of mine to go through a divorce to make me realize I had been neglecting our friendship. Over the Winter holidays I went to visit her in her new place and she mentioned that her divorce made her see who her real friends are. I made the cut, but I felt I could have spent more time with her. Her comment also made me think about how many weak ties I have with some people who mean quite a bit to me.  In 2016 I want to strengthen bonds with a core group of women than spread myself thin with multitudes of friends. Stronger is better.

Other relationships I want to strengthen are with my nieces and my parents on both sides.  I feel I don't spend enough time with them.  My nieces it's tough as they live in a different province, but technology can help with that.  And I want to see my parents and in-laws, who all live close by, more often. Who knows when their circumstances might change.

My other focus is my physical strength.  For years I have been caught in the never ending losing weight gaining weight cycle.  So concerned about the size of my stomach or thighs that I never realized the physical strength and beauty of my body.  And since I have sciatica it makes it nearly impossible to lift weights, but I have learned that yoga can be my strengthening tool for both my body and mind. I'm excited to challenge myself with some new classes and instructors, and keep the ones who serve me best to help me take my practise to a new level.

Here's to a strong 2016.

2015 Reflection

Last night we rang the new year in with vigorous and zealous delight. 2016 could not have begun soon enough for Scott and I. Though there were some tremendously joyous times with friends and family they flickered swiftly and we were left with rancorous periods of time that dragged like molasses.  Here were some of the highs and lows of 2015 for us.

#1 In Sickness and In Health
From January to May all our energy focused on trying to get Scott hernia surgery. Between dealing with BC's underfunded medical system and pain management we nearly lost or minds. I felt helpless in the whole situation; just watching the love of my life go through so much pain with no certainty that it would ever end. Finally after months of waiting Scott ended up with near emergency surgery thanks to a friend of ours who called in a favor.

We let ourselves have a break in March with our annual long weekend trip to Sechelt. Massages, a stroll on the beach, eating at The Lighthouse pub and one fine dinner, at the place we said our vows- Rockwater Lodge, fit the bill. This reprieve helped us solider on until surgery.



#2 Traveling
By the summer we needed to recharge our batteries. July kicked off with a trip with our friends to Shuswap lake for sun, fun and lots of laughs. And of course an enormous amount of scrumptious food.

Then Scott and I embarked on our Icelandic adventure; a 10 day road trip that reignited a spark in us.  We saw things we could never imagine seeing, ate some of the best food in the world, and fell in love with this awe inspiring country and its people.  My four part blog series certainly captured the passion for Iceland.

Once home I ventured off again to visit with my family back in Shuswap. Went tubing with my nieces, which was something I haven't done in years.

In November the Brookswood crew vacationed in Whistler for Cornucopia Wine
and Food festival. An epic first vacation together. Thinking this will happen again in 2016.  Then I visited my sister and her lovely family in Drayton Valley. It was what I needed as the chaos at home was a brewing.







#3 Bittersweet Renovations
One hot summer night, over a bottle of wine we entertained the notion of a kitchen and flooring renovation. Even though it was exciting to start this house transformation it did not happen easily. Delays on the kitchen cabinets pushed time lines out and before we knew it the time Scott had off to do the renovation disappeared. So we had to work on the renovations during the  weekends.  Thank goodness for a few helping hands along the way.  I learned a lot about large renovations, like they never go as planned, though the mess and chaos seem endless it is worth it when it's done, and that you need to be organized. People joke that the fine renovation dust that covers your house is called divorce dust. We didn't come close to that during the renovation but there were some tense moments, and in true Margo fashion a few tears.

While the renovations took place life continued to move along.  I started my 10th year at Sullivan Heights, Triggs had surgery on his neck, and Scott had to entertain new clients as his main one went belly up.  And sadly one of my aunts passed away.

There we have it. 2015 all wrapped up. Here is hoping 2016 is even more magical, with lots of love and health. Happy New Year my dear friends and family.