Just a Couple of D.I.N.KS in Cuba

With sand still surfacing around our house from our trip this spring break to Cuba, I am reminded of a time of no stress and worry.  It seemed as though as soon as our plane landed back in Vancouver the worries I was able to leave behind for an entire week resurfaced to play havoc once again.  So on this very rainy Sunday afternoon I'm trying to transform my mind and shift back to the best vacation a couple of D.I.N.KS could have....

We left a torrent of rain behind on the evening of March 20th and we were strolling down the picturesque beach of Cayo Santa Maria by late afternoon the next day.  It seemed that as soon as we stepped foot out of our runners and into flip flops the worries of our everyday lives drifted away on the Caribbean breeze.  Scott and I hadn't been on a  "real" vacation to a hot destination in over three years, and the last time we were both very sick.  So with zest and zeal we took our Cuban resort by storm and created a fantastic child


free vacation (well as childfree as we could, since there were kids at the resort).  But somehow we were able to avoid the noisy, screaming throngs for most of our stay.

We spent hours at the white, powder beach soaking up the sun and fresh sea air, and the sound of the crashing waves overpowered any disturbances that might befall us.  During our first encounter in the azure ocean I swiftly learned that the waves are powerful and will knock you head over heels if one is not careful.  But with some time I mastered wave jumping.  Snorkeling was another activity that both Scott and I love to partake in.  We tried some at our beach, but the best coral reefs were found in the middle of the ocean on our catamaran excursion.  We swam through multiple schools of fish, and Scott was poked by a grouper who felt he as getting in his way, I suppose.  Other times you'd find us by the quiet poolside, as our pool seemed to be occupied by more adults.  

The evenings were when we ate late, as to avoid any rush, and then saunter over to the theatre bar and sidle up on to stools as though we were on a date.  Sipping wine or champagne, while we watched the entertainment from afar, as we rehashed the day's events, were the best times.  And to top it off, every night, we'd sneak a bottle of wine down onto the beach and snuggle up on to a white beach chair to watch the waves roll in.  It was so romantic.  One night we walked by another couple in their late 60's doing the same and I thought to myself "one day that will be us."

Besides just spending quality time with Scott, it was the fact we had no schedule or responsibilities.  We ate when hungry, slept when tired and did as we pleased.  What we didn't realize was how truly lucky we are to be childfree, especially on vacation.  Naturally, most of our daily lives we take for granted that we don't have children to mind.  On vacation we had a bit of a wake up call, as we had front row seats a few times to witness how much time and effort children are, especially if they are really young and need you for everything.  I can't imagine how frustrating it would be, if you were actually relaxing, then to have to get up and tend to the need of a three year old.  We met one couple who had their 10 year old daughter with them and you could tell how annoyed they were that every 10 minutes she was badgering them to play with her in the pool, when all they wanted to do was relax and read for a bit.  It almost made me feel guilty that I didn't have to worry about that.  My only concern was did I have enough sun screen on, and from my burn it was evident that I wasn't as concerned as I should have been. :)

Now back in reality I find myself trying to conjure the memory of the scent and sound of that breathtaking ocean, and in that memory realize how truly blessed we are to be able to vacation somewhere so beautiful.  We really do have a charmed life as D.I.N.KS. 

Did you just call me a P.A.N.K?

I have been called many things in my life, some I'm proud of and others I'm astounded by, but being a PANK, well that takes the cake.  I came across this term just recently when my mom said that I'm such a PANK.  Dumbfounded as I've never heard of this, she chuckled and said "you are a Professional Aunt No Kids".  I laughed and wholeheartedly agreed.  But before I could label myself this I had to do some research about the label and what I found excited me.  There is a whole society of professional women, who do not have children, either by choice or circumstance, but love to spoil their nieces and nephews.  

The first person who came to mind when considering this word was my own aunt, my inspiration on how to be a good aunt- Rhonda.  For over 35 years Rhonda has been a part of my life and I have always looked up to her.  As a childfree, business woman she has lived what I thought growing up was a glamorous life- a cool apartment in English Bay, wearing stylish clothes and driving a fancy car.  Now though she has bought me and my sister nice things, it is the memories of our time together that I remember and cherish the most.  She was able to do "cool things" with us that only an aunt can do.  One time she took me to the opening ceremonies for Expo '86, and I got to see Lady Diana.  I was so trilled.  I still remember sitting in Rhonda's car talking about how neat it would be to marry Prince William.  For Christmas it was a tradition for my sister and I to sleep over at her place and decorate the tree and watch movies.  It was my aunt Rhonda who took me to get my ears pierced when I was 8, and the one who understood when I separated from my ex-husband at 30.  She has always been there as fine example of what a PANK should be- fun, exciting and a good ear to listen.  So now that I have two nieces of my own I try to think how Rhonda would things and then try that with my own spin.

As soon as Tyla was born I fell instantly in love with those blue eyes and wanted to be the best aunt in the world.  I took my job seriously trying my best to help out my sister when Tyla was a baby, even though I had no clue how to put a onesie on her or how to heat up formula.  Those tasks I struggled with but I knew how to make her laugh and comfort her when she cried.  I bravely babysat her over night when she was 6 months old.  This turned out to be the longest night ever, as she literally cried the whole time until she fell asleep in the middle of my bed at about 2 a.m.  So I stayed up all night watching her sleep afraid to wake her up if I moved her to her playpen.  I knew from that night on, I should stick to day time activities with my niece.

As the years went on I settled into my role as aunt.  My job was simple, have fun with her, be a stand in mom when my sister was away, and create memories filled with wonder and love.  As she gets older I find it easier to bond with  her.  For example on her sixth birthday I took her out for a "girlie day".  We got dressed up and went for lunch at Olive Garden- her choice.  Then we went shopping for her gift.  Now being a PANK it is my job to spoil my nieces, so when I asked Tyla what she wanted she replied with a piece of jewellery from Claires.  Now I know that costume jewellery  isn't necessarily luxury, but to a six year old it was like going to Tiffany's.  As we stepped over the threshold of the brightly decorated store, I told Tyla pick whatever you like.  Once I said the words I almost regretted them as now I was in the place where I really couldn't say no to whatever she chose.  After humming and hawing, and examining everything in the store, she chose an elaborate, rhinestone tiara. "A girl after her aunts own heart", I gleamed to myself.  I knew it was a ridiculous choice for a 6 year old, as the sales lady gave me this "really you are that kind of mom." look.  I smiled and thought to myself, "no I'm that kind of aunt."

Now that Emry is here I'm trying to build a close bond with her too.  When she was born I fell hard again and wanted to hold her for so long, or until she screamed and wanted her mom.  I call her little "em" as I'm big "M".  At a young age of 2.5 years old she a fire cracker.  On my last visit to Drayton Valley, their new residence, I tried to split my time between both nieces.  Tyla wanted to paint nails and show me how she can ride a bike.  Her sidekick wanted to do the same of course, but also wanted to spend hours reading books and creating works of art.  Since Em is young she doesn't understand the value of money, but what she does get is time and attention.  That is a gift that both girls strive for when we spend time together.  What makes me happy is that I have lots of attention to give and hopefully one day I can afford to give them opportunities and experiences that will last forever. One of my goals is to take them to Disneyland.  And one day maybe I can help with University or be a place to stay when they need a break from small town living.

In the meantime I try to bridge the physical gap with text messaging and Facetime with Tyla and having "little chats" with Emry on the phone.  Hopefully they see me as the aunt I try to be.  I love them so very much.