Fanning the Flames of Marriage

As I sit in the backyard garden, sipping the last of the crisp Pinot Grigio, the night air ripples along my bare arms, creating a tingling sensation in my body.  The stars are out, husband is sleeping and I'm left satisfied with the memory of our dinner date we had only hours ago.  I made a simple grilled prawn salad with garlic and Parmesan toast points, paired with a chilled Pinot Grigio for dinner.  Outside I arranged an intimate table with a table cloth and candles, and Scott and I enjoyed each other's company for a quiet evening at home.  Between our work schedules and our active social life, we find it hard to maintain romance through out the week.  But by July 1st when I'm on summer break and the nights are long it seems to be easier to squeeze in some alone time.  Summer is the season when we can turn off the TV and tune into one another, and I find just planning a few simple, inexpensive dates does the trick to fan the flames of our marriage.

Last year I made the effort to plan and prepare a picnic once a week.  A different location and menu for each week, and as a result we had at least one meal together undisturbed by cellphones or other distractions around the house.  For Scott and I, just being alone, focusing on each other through conversation seems to bring us closer, which sparks an intimacy we can carry into the bedroom.  So participating in the dating ritual, like when we first ignited the flame between us, works every time.  However, now that we are married and have been together awhile, date nights don't seem to be top priority as they used to be- real life rears its ugly head in.  Not to mention going out for elaborate dinners every week can add up fast.

So here are my favorite picks for summer date nights that add heat but don't squash the bank account.

1. Dinner for two, outside.  I love our backyard and I'm a good cook, so I can whip up a nice meal, add some ambiance as mentioned in the beginning of the post, and bam we've got 'date night. No reservations needed.

2. If you have a deck and/or a fire pit available, post dinner drinks and s'mores or strawberries dipped in chocolate are a great way to catch up on the day, and maybe the sticky marsh mellows or chocolate will lead to something special.

3. Picnics for lunch or dinner.  Choose a park, make some simple food- even a baguette, cheese and grapes, with a well disguised bottle of wine can be a lovely meal for two.  Bring a blanket and fun game to play to work up an appetite, before or after the meal.

4. Enjoying fish and chips literally on the beach: order a two -piece with fries to share, sitting on a blanket in the sand.  And then grab cold ice cream cones afterwards and stroll along the beach to watch the sunset.

5. Patios are now open and Happy Hour now on most menus, so you can eat, drink and be merry.  Find a picturesque location to enjoy the libations and you will probably enjoy much more.

6. Go on a wine tasting.  Most wineries have free tastings or the fee is waved when you purchase a bottle.  And let's be honest who doesn't end up buying a bottle before they leave.  Lots of local wineries allow you to bring your own food for picnics.  And Backyard Winery in South Langley is open late Friday and Saturday nights.  Pop in for a tasting or a glass and let the magic of the wine do the rest.

7. Create a playlist of your relationship soundtrack, and dance the night away in your backyard or just reminisce when and where you two first heard that song together.  What makes that song important to you?

8. Too hot to sleep upstairs, then pull your mattress downstairs where it is cool.  Set up a movie night of romantic comedies and see where the night takes you.

If you have any fun and affordable ways to keep weekly date nights alive, then tell me about them.

Summer Bucket List

Last years berry harvest

The air is rich with heat and the scent of warm grass, and the daylight lingers so long it almost wears out its welcome.  Now you know it's Summer.  Time once again when we all seem to write long lists of "things" we want to do through July and August.  And if you are like me, your list is too long to really accomplish it.

By Aug 30th my post summer- guilt kicks in and I'm kicking myself for not learning to paddle- board (that has been on my list for the last three years).  Much like New Years Resolutions, the Summer Bucket list can be difficult to complete; you have so many new and exciting things to do or see that the 100 item list is virtually impossible to cram into 60 days.  Between work, family and housework when will you check off even half of the list? I'm lucky in that I do have the 60 days work free and I still never fully cross off every item on my Bucket List.

So how do you accomplish the list completely, avoiding the post summer- guilt, you ask?  Well, one thing you can do is what my Bestie does- write a Summer Mantra that helps encompass many aspects of summer into one sentence.  She hasn't posted hers yet, but I think mine last year was- This is the summer of Wellness, Good Food and Great Company.  So in other words I wanted to relax, keep fit, hang out with people I love and enjoy all the yummy summer food.  All you need to do is write This is the summer of.... and fill in the blank with 3-4 things you want to focus on.  I usually do the mantra and then I make a long bucket list.

Cabin View

I haven't written my mantra yet, but my list is already forming.  I have decided to write 15 doable things and when I cross off at least 10 I will add 2 more, and so on.  That way by Aug 30th I should have my entire list crossed off in black slashes.  Also I'm choosing most activities that are in my wheelhouse and adding only one or two that is not, in hopes it will happen this summer, so it can get off my Maybe Next year list.

My Summer Bucket List:

1. Berry Picking with my mom at Krause Berry Farms
2. Eat fish n' chips from Moby Dicks' on the beach
3.Attend an outdoor concert or play
4.Spend a few days at the lake alone to write
5.Swim at Shuswap lake
6.Campfire and S'mores
7.Get away with just Scott and Triggs
8.Go on a boat ride

Boat Ride last year

9.Eat ice cream while strolling along a beach
10. Attend or Host a BBQ with friends
11. Drink The Flame ( an ice wine we bought three summers ago)
12.Play at the beach with my nieces and family
13. Make homemade boozy Popsicles
14.Read a book in a day
15. Paddle Board (it's happening this year)

Mantra: This is the summer of yoga, writing, fabulous company and romance

Yes, I said romance.  Stay tuned for my inexpensive dates and ways to ignite the flame post

So start your list or mantra and share it with me.  What is the first thing you want to do this summer?

?

Ole Ole Ole

This post is supposed to be tongue-in-cheek, so all you FIFA fans please take this as just that.

It recently occurred to me that it has been almost two months since I last wrote a blog post, and while most people would think I'd post something about the teacher-strike, I have to say quiet frankly I'm done talking about it.  So instead here is my view on something that has taken over our house in the last week and a half- FIFA World Cup!!

Most of you know I'm not an expert on sports, let alone soccer.  Nor do I usually notice sports unless my husband is watching them and even then I'm usually wrapped up in the Twitter verse to really know what is happening.  Then one day last week this weird phenomenon happened- I was home bored and I put on FIFA.  And I have to say I was impressed by these athletic Gods of the soccer ball.  When Scott came home he asked what I did that day and I replied "watched the World Cup".  He almost fell over.

Then he asked me why.  I replied " because have you seen these guys?  They are remarkable.  Not only are these men incredibly athletic and passionate about their sport, but ALL of them are sexy.  I don't know if it's the uniform, or all the running and sweating, but there is something to be said about soccer players.  They are something to look at". He chimed in with "aren't all athletes good-looking?"

"Not really" I smirked.  So I went on to explain my grading system of the sports we regularly watch- Hockey, Football, and Golf.

* Hockey players are probably well-tuned athletes too, but they wear bulky uniforms that cover up everything, and they have missing teeth, brutish looks and they spit a lot while on the bench.  Not my cup of tea.

 * Football players are pretty much the same as hockey players, and some of them are definitely not in the best of shape.

Then you have Golfers.  They may dress nicely, but with the exception of Adam Scott, there isn't much sex appeal; it's kind of like watching your dad or brother play.  Not to mention the matches are slow and can be boring.

Soccer and Australian Football are new sports in our household and I'm slowly learning the lingo and rules, but in the meantime, I'm finding it pretty exciting to watch.  No to mention it keeps my mind off of other stressful things.  So Ole, Ole, Ole...

What Colour Is Your Yoga Mat?: Start Of My Yoga Journey

In the end of 2013 I set a goal for myself to try something new.  I chose to join a yoga studio.  Now, I've practiced yoga before in the confines of a rec center setting, but I knew I wanted something more.  I needed a place to challenge my physical and mental self and at the same time provide balance in my chaotic schedule.  I found this and more at Hari Om Yoga Studios in Langley, B.C.

When I joined in late December I told myself this was not going to be just one of those New years Resolutions that many people make and break after a few short months.  Weighing the cost of attending this studio and my time I knew I had to commit to a minimum of three sessions a week to make it worth while.  I wanted to experiment and see if this form of exercise was all I needed, as I had become bored at the gym- treadmills were not cutting it anymore.

I took my magenta hued mat and my classic Lulu attire and attended my first class, and I was hooked.  This gorgeous bamboo floored studio, with a large picture window over-looking a forest of trees invited me in, and the inclusive instructors and owners captured my heart.  I find myself going four times a week, and if I didn't have to work I'd be there more.

So what's with the colour of the mat?  Why is that important?  Well I don't think the colour of your mat matters, and it won't reveal anything about your personality, but it is one thing I observe in every class.  This is a good thing, as before I was more focused on how I measured up to the other yogis I practiced with instead of just focusing on my own practice.  And as the months have gone by I have trained myself to be more curious about the Easter Egg basket of colours I see while twisting into poses rather than competing with the people to twist the furthest.  I know now it isn't a competition and that everyone's body is different and we all have varying abilities.  Yoga is a journey without a destination as once you have mastered a pose it doesn't mean you are done.  You are never finished, since our bodies shift continuously our abilities to achieve more room to stretch and twist will vary.  One day you might be able to get into Winged Dragon pose and the next maybe Baby Dragon is all your body is up for.

Another thing I have realized is that my body has become stronger and leaner over these months.  I try to get in some cardio, from time to time, but I'm not obsessed with losing weight anymore.  I am becoming comfortable in my skin and celebrating my body for what it is now and yoga has done that for me.

And doing something for just me is something I'm lucky enough to do four times a week.  I'm fortunate to have the extra time to indulge in yoga in this particular way and that my husband is so supportive of me in doing this for just me.  I know not many women take the time every week to do something just for them, but if you could what would it be?  In a sense what colour is your mat, your thing you love to do alone, just for you?

The Wallflower Learns to Slightly Peel Herself Off The Sidelines

Lately I've been doing a lot of soul -searching and trying to figure out who I am and just being comfortable in my own skin.  With the help of a life coach I have begun to accept myself and push myself at the same time to become the person I want to be.  The latter months of 2013 proved to be more than stressful on my marriage and myself and I needed to get control.  When I started my journey with my life coach I didn't know the emotional impact it would have on me.  I had to ask myself some tough questions and my answers were tough pills to swallow.  The biggest realization for me was that I have a tough time asking for help partly because I don't want to be a burden on other people.  And not getting what I need is a result of that.  In addition to that I learned fear of the unknown and being out of control are learned conditions I have lived in for years. Then if you add the fact I am a shy and introverted person, it takes a lot for me to do things that seem easy or normal for a lot of people, such as: asking a store -clerk for help; driving to a place I've never been before; or trying a new activity.  These simple activities take a lot of self- talk and can be exhausting to think about so sometimes it's easier to not do them.

So after some sessions, which ended in January, and a big commitment to change on my part, I have been able to gain control and set goals for myself to be a more confident and extroverted person.  This better version of myself is crucial for my goals of getting in shape, living a more balanced life and the biggest one- publishing my book.

During this process I also discovered that introvert is not a bad word.  Growing up in a society that values extroverted people and choosing an extroverted  profession in education I had to become more extroverted in my professional realm, and sometimes in my social realm too.  But the truth is, I love being an introvert.  For the longest time guilt or moments of social awkwardness reigned over me as I felt the need to be an extrovert as that is "the norm", and not how I want to be.  Many people perceive you as being strange in a social setting to sit back and take in the scene.  Looking back now, I see that my dad is an introvert and when I observe him he sits quietly and then chimes in when the moment is right.  My natural response is to the same but I also can't stand the silence that can build in a conversation with a stranger, so I spend time before a big social gathering preparing questions to ask new people I meet to help keep the conversation going.  It can be tiring.

I also realize that I enjoy spending time in solitude.  My perfect weekend is just me and the novel I'm reading or the one I'm working on.  I also love just being alone with my thoughts.  My best creative ideas come from strolling in the wilderness, alone.  I also love shopping alone and exercising alone.  I think that is why I'm drawn to individual athletic pursuits, like walking, swimming, and yoga.  Yes I know I practice yoga in a studio full of people, but most times I focus on my me and my mat.

So what I'm figuring out is that it is okay to be an introvert but as long as my needs are being met, which means in certain settings I have to be extroverted.  And on the other hand it is okay to indulge my shy, quiet side too.  And after practicing some of my new techniques I feel I'm growing into the person I want to be.

Romance Is In The Spring Air

Porpoise Bay

Every time Scott and I drive off the ferry and onto the Sunshine Coast the world around us slows down, the colours become more vibrant and the air is a little more fresh.  Over the past five years we have visited Sechelt almost every Spring or Summer.  It is the one place that I can't get enough of and I take comfort in the familiarity of it. The laid back rhythm, small town feel and breath-taking scenery bring me back every year.  I crave it every Spring.  For me, and I think Scott, it the perfect romantic get-a-away that is long over due by the Spring.  You see we have no problem taking time to reconnect with one another in the summer, but once Sept starts so does the rapid everyday routines that we get stuck doing.  And by December we kick it into high gear with family dinners, parties, the crazed hustle and bustle of the holidays themselves.  Then we seem to gravitate back to the usual routines of going to work, make dinner, clean up and take in a few hours of TV.  The weekends are busy with chores and trying to slip in a few romantic dates along the way.  By Spring I need some quality alone time with my husband.  I'm sure most couples can relate to this and if you add in a few "ankle-biters" you are long over due for romance.

So this Spring I booked us in at Wildflowers B&B (not our usual place) but one I'm familiar with.  It is so fantastic- large manicured property with a duck pond, and gardens, with two private cabins away from the main house, which is a great place to really let your hair down.  The proprietors- Doug and Darcy, pull out all the stops when it comes to comfort and fine -dining quality food.  Each cabin contains a King bed, fire place, shower for two, soaker tub, private hot tub and more.  An added bonus is the intermittent Wi-Fi which really forces you to put down the devices and heaven forbid TALK.  We even kept the TV off while we were there.  Without the distractions we chatted for hours about everything.

Porpoise Bay

Porpoise Bay

Before we checked in we stopped by our favorite pub The Lighthouse and enjoyed a scrumptious lunch and discovered our new fav. red wine- Beso Di Vino- a Spanish blend of Syrah and Garnacha.  And as per usual we ended up coming back that night for dinner.  Later we donned our swimsuits and a had long soak in the hot tub.  While we were soaking in the warm water listening to the frogs croak we spotted a fox hiding in the grass by the pond.  He didn't say anything :)

Hot Tub Gazebo 

Our cabin at Wildflowers

The next morning we dined on eggs benny in homemade yorkshire puddings, fruit salad, and homemade croissants.  Normally after breakfast we would get on our hiking gear and visit the Schoocimchuck Rapids, but this time we just wanted to relax, so we had massages in our room in the late afternoon, after a few hours poking around Sechelt.

Our view from our cabin

We have never had massages in our own room before so I wasn't sure if they would be as good as going to a spa.  Well I have to say my massage was the best and it was great not having to change out of my robe afterwards and drive anywhere.  Instead Scott and I lounged around eating cheese and crackers and sipping wine before getting ready for dinner at our old haunt Rockwater.

View from ferry 

The next morning we packed up, ate banana and custard stuffed french toasts and headed back home to reality.  For 2.5 days we escaped our routines and just enjoyed one another's company.

I always think we need to do this more often but alas real-life seems to take the lead. :)

Leave Brookswood Alone!!!!

In the past week things in my life have turned upside down.  I was given information about how my community and the way I live my daily life could be destroyed all due to 10 landowners in my area.  I have attended a couple hearings and even gave a speech Wednesday night expressing my concern.  For those of you who were not in attendance here is what I said that night.

Mayor, Council Members and fellow Brookswood Families, my name is Margo Freeman and I live at 19721 41A Ave, right off the proposed expansion of 40^th Ave and 196^th street.

I'm here tonight to ask to you to vote NO to the proposed Community Plan.  My husband and I moved here five year ago from the over-populated, concrete slab, called Willoughby.  We were sick of the noise pollution, heavy traffic and lack of green space.  We left this hustle and bustle way of life to seek a quieter location, filled with clean air, and nature on our door step.  We thought we’d have to move to a rural town up North, but we were soon elated not only to find Brookswood but also our parcel of land.  Who could dream of a street where you can consider your neighbours your friends, where ancient cedars line the streets and shade your house from the beating sun? Where you can watch bald eagles soar overhead, and observe birds nesting in the trees?  We couldn’t believe we had found a street that is so nestled in that you feel secluded from the rest of the world and you can walk mere steps into a lush forest rich with wildlife and trails.  We had found paradise, and anyone who visits remarks on how lucky we are to live here.

I thought we’d plant deep roots of our own beside the firs and walnut trees in our yard.  We planned on building a life for decades here.  Why would we want to leave?  Every day when I leave the concrete jungle of Langley City and cross over the boundary into Brookwood it is like there is an audible sigh and relief and I have entered a small town.  I love that.

On 196^th street and 40^th it is quiet.  Children play in the street and their laughter lingers in the air.  There isn’t that constant truck and car noise pollution that would be there instead if this proposal goes through.  There won’t be children playing on a major road way.  Only noise.  I didn’t move to this street to live in a concrete world full of noise and dangerous drivers.  I don’t think any of my neighbours did either, especially the ones on 196^th and 40^th.  We enjoy having our space and privacy.  We thrive on the notion our street is safe.  If these plans go through we live next to a dangerous road with easy access for all sorts of people who may want to rob and harm us. 

We did not plan to raise families and build legacies mirrored off of 200^th and 72^nd.  If this plan goes ahead, everything we strive to protect, strive to maintain will be lost.  Our sense of community and our way of life will cease to exist.  You will destroy and devastate so many lives here.  Not to mention the environmental impact.  No more birds, no more rabbits, no more deer.  All gone.

Please Vote NO

If you feel the same way speak up and attend the Brookswood 

Rally on March 22nd at the Brookswood Water park at noon!!! 

 Don't Keep Calm, Keep Fighting On Brookswood!