These Are My "Kids"

As the school year winds down and I am putting my classroom back in order I notice the little reminders of my students displayed about- "after test" drawings stuck on the filing cabinet; a declaration of "We Love You Mrs Freeman" on the board; and two cards from senior students thanking me for making an "impact" in their lives.  These tangible items make me smile and I can almost hear their energy laden voices filling the empty space.  Being completely burnt out I am relieved this year has been put- to- bed, so to speak, but part of me is saddened too.  It's funny, you never know how much students contribute to your life until they are gone; meaning while you teach them day in and day out you don't recognize how much a part of you they are until the year is done.  Now granted there are a few I'm glad to see go, but even then those challenging ones stick with you.

This June in particular has been a bittersweet time for me as I have come to realize how much certain students have impacted my life and left imprints in me; some of these students I will hopefully see again in the years to come.  On the last day of classes I told my Eng 9 classes they are my next set of babies who will graduate in the coming years.  My 9's this time around were my champions everyday; no matter how crazy they were in period 4 they made me laugh- I could have been having the worst day and in mere moments they would have me smiling again.  It has been a long time since I had such a connection with a particular group of teenagers.  The last time was four years ago, when I taught a fantastic group of 9's, who left the nest.  When I watched them walk across the stage my heart filled with the type of pride a parent would feel. Though I can't say for sure as I don't have kids myself, I'm sure my feelings of pride are very similar to a parent's, just not as magnified.  I have spent the last four years watching this group grow and mature into fine, young adults.  These are the sweet bits

Bitter or grief is the other half of the equation for me this year.  In the past year I have had two former students pass away.  My overwhelming reaction to the news of their deaths took me by surprise, for I didn't know then how much they had meant to me.  The first was a student I had only taught one year, but it was a memorable one.  2005/2006 was my first school year at Sullivan and this kid's graduating year.  Since he was in my senior acting class he was able to attend our Performing Arts New York trip that spring. This student had never flown on a plane nor been away from his family.  One might think he would have been nervous; if he was, it never showed, as his confident exterior and good natured humour shined bright posing in front of the Statue of Liberty and having the time of his life.  During our trip we visited the United Nations building, and while there he asked "how do people work at the UN?" Something must have struck a cord with him as he did end up working for the UN.  Sadly, while residing and working in Chile, he met his accidental death this past January.  It's hard to believe this remarkable young man is gone.

My other student passed away this June after a 8 month battle with leukemia.  She had graduated three years ago, and I still remember our conversation at her "dinner and dance".  All dressed up, looking very mature, she told me how excited she was to be finally able to start working toward her dream of becoming a youth care worker or counsellor for troubled youth.  It was a career path I knew she'd be good at, since she could empathize with these teens.  I met her in 2005 in my grade 9 dance/drama class.  Her tough attitude boded well for her as she secured a role as a "pink lady" in our production of Grease.  She was reluctant at first, but after awhile I caught her smiling and enjoying herself.  As the years went on she was a familiar face in my English classes, and from there we were able to develop a strong rapport with one another.  I'll never forget her smile and larger than life laugh that could fill a room and more.  This amazing young woman left us too soon.

Both of these students will remain in my heart for years to come.  People say it must be sad that I don't have children of my own, but I don't think so.  In my mind I am a surrogate parent to many of my students; I not only teach them, but I also worry about them and feel pride like a parent when they succeed.  These are my "kids". I wonder what next year will bring?