Did you just call me a P.A.N.K?

I have been called many things in my life, some I'm proud of and others I'm astounded by, but being a PANK, well that takes the cake.  I came across this term just recently when my mom said that I'm such a PANK.  Dumbfounded as I've never heard of this, she chuckled and said "you are a Professional Aunt No Kids".  I laughed and wholeheartedly agreed.  But before I could label myself this I had to do some research about the label and what I found excited me.  There is a whole society of professional women, who do not have children, either by choice or circumstance, but love to spoil their nieces and nephews.  

The first person who came to mind when considering this word was my own aunt, my inspiration on how to be a good aunt- Rhonda.  For over 35 years Rhonda has been a part of my life and I have always looked up to her.  As a childfree, business woman she has lived what I thought growing up was a glamorous life- a cool apartment in English Bay, wearing stylish clothes and driving a fancy car.  Now though she has bought me and my sister nice things, it is the memories of our time together that I remember and cherish the most.  She was able to do "cool things" with us that only an aunt can do.  One time she took me to the opening ceremonies for Expo '86, and I got to see Lady Diana.  I was so trilled.  I still remember sitting in Rhonda's car talking about how neat it would be to marry Prince William.  For Christmas it was a tradition for my sister and I to sleep over at her place and decorate the tree and watch movies.  It was my aunt Rhonda who took me to get my ears pierced when I was 8, and the one who understood when I separated from my ex-husband at 30.  She has always been there as fine example of what a PANK should be- fun, exciting and a good ear to listen.  So now that I have two nieces of my own I try to think how Rhonda would things and then try that with my own spin.

As soon as Tyla was born I fell instantly in love with those blue eyes and wanted to be the best aunt in the world.  I took my job seriously trying my best to help out my sister when Tyla was a baby, even though I had no clue how to put a onesie on her or how to heat up formula.  Those tasks I struggled with but I knew how to make her laugh and comfort her when she cried.  I bravely babysat her over night when she was 6 months old.  This turned out to be the longest night ever, as she literally cried the whole time until she fell asleep in the middle of my bed at about 2 a.m.  So I stayed up all night watching her sleep afraid to wake her up if I moved her to her playpen.  I knew from that night on, I should stick to day time activities with my niece.

As the years went on I settled into my role as aunt.  My job was simple, have fun with her, be a stand in mom when my sister was away, and create memories filled with wonder and love.  As she gets older I find it easier to bond with  her.  For example on her sixth birthday I took her out for a "girlie day".  We got dressed up and went for lunch at Olive Garden- her choice.  Then we went shopping for her gift.  Now being a PANK it is my job to spoil my nieces, so when I asked Tyla what she wanted she replied with a piece of jewellery from Claires.  Now I know that costume jewellery  isn't necessarily luxury, but to a six year old it was like going to Tiffany's.  As we stepped over the threshold of the brightly decorated store, I told Tyla pick whatever you like.  Once I said the words I almost regretted them as now I was in the place where I really couldn't say no to whatever she chose.  After humming and hawing, and examining everything in the store, she chose an elaborate, rhinestone tiara. "A girl after her aunts own heart", I gleamed to myself.  I knew it was a ridiculous choice for a 6 year old, as the sales lady gave me this "really you are that kind of mom." look.  I smiled and thought to myself, "no I'm that kind of aunt."

Now that Emry is here I'm trying to build a close bond with her too.  When she was born I fell hard again and wanted to hold her for so long, or until she screamed and wanted her mom.  I call her little "em" as I'm big "M".  At a young age of 2.5 years old she a fire cracker.  On my last visit to Drayton Valley, their new residence, I tried to split my time between both nieces.  Tyla wanted to paint nails and show me how she can ride a bike.  Her sidekick wanted to do the same of course, but also wanted to spend hours reading books and creating works of art.  Since Em is young she doesn't understand the value of money, but what she does get is time and attention.  That is a gift that both girls strive for when we spend time together.  What makes me happy is that I have lots of attention to give and hopefully one day I can afford to give them opportunities and experiences that will last forever. One of my goals is to take them to Disneyland.  And one day maybe I can help with University or be a place to stay when they need a break from small town living.

In the meantime I try to bridge the physical gap with text messaging and Facetime with Tyla and having "little chats" with Emry on the phone.  Hopefully they see me as the aunt I try to be.  I love them so very much.